Reviews
I’m hard pressed to recall a recent movie that revels in sanguinary excess as much as “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.” From the animated ichor running through the opening titles to the numerous arterial plumes that paint the floors, walls, and even the characters themselves, we haven’t seen this much hemoglobin in a Johnny Depp film since the infamous blood geyser in “A Nightmare on Elm Street.” Yet for all that, “Sweeney Todd” might be director Tim Burton’s most accessible film since…hell, I don’t know…”Planet of the Apes?” The exception being that the former is actually good.
tl;dr Bloody and exciting. Taught moral lessons of sorts and kept me in awe. 100% from me
So what’s it all about? Well, like any episode of The Simpsons, there are several plotlines going on at once. The overarching story arc revolves around yet another one of Homer’s screw-ups; after rescuing a pig from the butcher’s knife, our favorite Duff-swilling nuclear power plant employee develops a vaguely unnatural bond with his new pet. Rather than dispose of all the pig crap that’s now lying around the house properly, he builds a silo in the backyard that gets filled up in about two days. Under Marge’s strict orders, he carts the silo off to the dump, but the promise of free doughnuts leads him to get rid of it the fastest way he knows how, namely by dumping it in Springfield Lake. In doing so, however, he turns the already toxic watering hole into a breeding ground for mutant creatures. This catches the attention of EPA chief Russ Cargill (Albert Brooks), who proposes a unique solution to his boss, President Schwarzenegger (not President Wolfcastle?): imprisoning the entire town of Springfield beneath an unbreakable dome. The movie combines political comedy with idiot humor. I give this an 80%.
tl;dr Had lots of education and misleading ones as well. Made me laugh a lot. 80%
The Outlet
I offer you a chance to travel with me through time.
My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;
Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white,
But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight
Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know
That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go;
My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she belied with false compare.
BITE ME ALEN BUOY!
